Mormon Family Blog

“We must understand that each of our children comes with varying gifts and talents. Some, like Abel, seem to be given gifts of faith at birth. Others struggle with every decision they make. As parents, we should never let the searching and struggling of our children make us waver or lose our faith in the Lord.

“Alma the Younger, when ‘racked with torment . . . [and] harrowed up by the memory of [his] many sins,’ remembered hearing his father teach about the coming of ‘Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world’ (Alma 36:17). His father’s words led to his conversion. In like manner, our teaching and testimony will be remembered by our children.”

(Robert D. Hales, “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty,” Ensign, May 1999, 32)

(From Family Gems)

So, it’s frustrating. When you teach children correct principles, when you live Mormon doctrine as well as preach it, when you are, in everything you can be, an example to your children–when you do this and they don’t seem to understand, when they openly stray, what do you do? Do you despair? Do you decide you were a bad parent, or that the Mormon Church is false if you couldn’t teach it to your children?

They will remember. When their struggles bring them into dark places and the light is there, waiting to be reached to–when they walk in darkness and long for truth, it will be there. They will remember. They will return.

Our lives are hectic. No one will deny that. To live today is often to rush frantically from one thing to another. Our jobs often take up most of our time and, when we go home, we’d maybe rather relax by ourselves than worry about what our children have been doing.

Sometimes, our children’s needs can seem less essential than that big work project, or getting that book written before deadline or finishing that church responsibility early (Mormons think church involvement is important, but never to the neglect of family). Even that football game can get so involving that our children are given a back seat. When you’re involved in something else, your children can even seem like interruptions or irritants.

Always remember that they are your highest priority, that their instruction and welfare is very important — that they depend on you and that your time is the greatest gift you can give them. Mormons believe that parenthood is among the greatest roles we can have and that it is always the parents’ responsibility to make sure children grow up right.

Elder Ballard, a Mormon apostle, speaks further on this:

“We should cherish and care for our children with unwavering dedication. The older we grow, the more precious our family becomes to us. We come to see more clearly that all of the wealth, honor, and positions of the world pale in significance when compared to the precious souls of our loved ones. You young parents who are beginning your families must guard against seeking financial gain, worldly comforts, or achievement at the expense of your children. You must guard against being so anxious to get to work or to a meeting that you do not have time for your family, especially time to listen to anxious little voices. . . .

“We cannot and we must not allow the school, community, television, or even Church organizations to establish our children’s values. The Lord has placed this duty with mothers and fathers. It is one from which we cannot escape and one that cannot be delegated. Others may help, but parents remain accountable.”

(M. Russell Ballard, “Teach the Children,” Ensign, May 1991, 79-80) (From LDS Family Gems)