A Spanish proverb states that the husband and the wife do the last bit of “bringing up.” Each of us depends on those around us to teach us how to be better people, whether by trying our willingness to act as Jesus Christ would, or by being an example to us. In the Mormon Church, marrying and having children are important parts of life, especially since those family relationships are the ones that will help us learn the most. Elder Groberg said it eloquently:

We come to this earth charged with a mission: to learn to love and serve one another. To best help us accomplish this, God has placed us in families, for he knows that is where we can best learn to overcome selfishness and pride and to sacrifice for others and to make happiness and helpfulness and humility and love the very essence of our character. (John H. Groberg, “The Power of Family Prayer,” Ensign, May 1982, 50)

Sometimes we learn humility and gratitude when spouses or children give selflessly, but it seems that we are more often required to meet the needs of others. Mormons are encouraged to accept family responsibilities. While there are trials to family life, there is also great and deep joy. Our Heavenly Father knows each of us, and he gave us families not only because he knew that they would be the best for helping us grow up, but also because he knew that we could help these family members in ways nobody else can.

Like a math textbook, families are full of problems-and none of them are easy. Some problems seem tedious, some require knowledge of difficult concepts, and others seem out of our hands. But family problems, like math problems, are designed to help us learn. By reading the scriptures, including the Book of Mormon, we learn ways to be more like Christ; we then turn to the “homework pages”: our families. The knowledge of how to act is crucial, but not as crucial as the actions themselves in our learning and growth.

“As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father’s instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective. Instead, if he will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior.”This lesson is surely not limited to fathers. Regardless of gender, marital status, or age, individuals can choose to link themselves directly to the Savior, hold fast to the rod of His truth, and lead by the light of that truth. By so doing, they become examples of righteousness to whom others will want to cling.” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, “Set in Order Thy House,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 69)

Family is extremely important to Mormons, and to many, it seems easiest to cling to the love of a spouse, the adoration of a child, or the care of a parent. While family ties are crucial, our relationships with our families and others around us depend on our relationship to the savior.

Forgiveness is a crucial part of family life in which the Savior is our only true example. In a marriage, a husband and wife are required to forgive one another. The act of forgiveness becomes so much easier with the knowledge that Jesus Christ, who is perfect, forgave those who crucified him as he hung on the cross. Can we hold a grudge against a spouse or brother for human mistakes (the same kind we make) when Christ would forgive them?

The strength family members receive from a real relationship with the Savior allows them to forgive one another. If we cling to Christ, he will lend us the ability to bear one another’s burdens and bring the uplifting spirit of Jesus into family life. While we must trust our families, if we trust in Christ most, he can help us keep our families whole and trustworthy. He can bless us with the ability to hold up our families in hard times.

If we cling to one another, we may fall together, being imperfect, but if we individually cling to Christ, we can rise together as the Lord lifts even one member of the family. The example of one family member’s willingness to act Christ like can be an inspiration to a whole family. Christ lifts us when we aren’t strong, and he can give us the strength to lift our families when no member of the family is feeling strong.

“Teach the gospel and basic values in your home. Establish a love for reading the scriptures together. Too many of our parents are abdicating this responsibility to the Church. While seminary, auxiliaries, and priesthood quorums are important as a supplement to parental gospel instruction, the main responsibility rests in the home. You might want to choose one gospel subject or a family value and then watch for opportunities to teach it. Be wise and do not involve children or yourselves in so many activities out of the home that you are so busy that the Spirit of the Lord cannot be recognized or felt in giving you the promised guidance for yourself and your family” (M. Russell Ballard, “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 43).

Because children learn by example, it is crucial that we let children see us doing the kinds of things we want them to do, like serving others, being happy, and studying the scriptures. An even better way to teach about the good feelings and blessings that come from keeping the commandments is to involve children in our activities and talk to them about the experience afterward. Children have different learning styles, so displaying good behaviors, having them join you in righteous activities, and then talking to them about the experience can help many children to understand how and why we obey God.

Family is of the utmost importance to Mormons, and we believe that family members, and especially parents, have responsibilities to the family. The family is the only steady and consistent part of a child’s life. Family remains the same no matter who their friends are, who is teaching them at school, what town they live in, or what Sunday School class they’re in. Only parents can truly know how their child is progressing, how he learns, what he likes to do, and where he needs to improve. Thus, only parents have the time and ability to teach directly to the needs of their children.

Children learn quickly when they are youngest, and the instruction and examples they receive in the very early years can be the most instrumental in forming who they are. If they develop a relationship of prayer and study with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when they are young, they will be able to rely on that for comfort for a lifetime. By nature, children trust, love, and watch their parents more than any other adults. Parents have a unique opportunity to guide their children’s lives in a way no other people can. And of course, with this great power, parents are the only ones truly responsible for the teaching of their children.

There are so many reasons to teach our children. Their salvation and ours hang in the balance. But more than that, these children were born with and will develop amazing talents and abilities. They have special gifts that will allow them to bless the lives of others in ways nobody else can. Our posterity, like Abraham’s, can be a blessing to the world, but first we must give them what they need for their minds and spirits to grow.